Saturn Sux

In August 2007, Pudge and I decided to get an SUV. We needed a vehicle that was big enough to shuttle the Pudge Boys around and also a vehicle large enough to lug all our junk when we go camping, fishing, etc. Pudge and I are huge proponents of "Buy American". We feel that it's our responsibility as Americans to stimulate the economy. All our lives, Pudge and I have NEVER owned a foreign made vehicle. Pudge was a huge Saturn fan. Every vehicle he's ever owned was a Saturn, where I'm more of a Lincoln fan. I had never owned a Saturn. Pudge's Saturn had always been too small and "crampy" for my taste. I love driving BIG vehicles so when it came for us to buy an SUV, Pudge suggested we get a Saturn Outlook. I was leaning towards a Lincoln Navigator. But because Pudge was a GM supplier at the time, we got this HUGE awesome deal on a Saturn. To sweetened the deal, the Saturn sales person we worked with was this awesome woman named Mary. I had never bought a car from a woman before and I have to tell you guys....this chick was awesome. Most car salesmen are slimy and gross...trying to be all charming while selling you a dud. Well it was refreshing to work with Mary. So long story short, we bought ourselves a 2008 Saturn Outlook. I was the primary driver. The vehicle was totally tricked out. It had satellite radio, satellite phone, OnStar Roadside Assistance....etc. I was in Car Heaven. To top it all off, the Outlook seats 8 people comfortably. So I loved driving my coworkers and friends to lunch or long distances. It was the ultimate Pudge Mobile.

Then gas prices started getting higher and higher. Pudge was driving the 2003 Dodge Intrepid which got terrible MPGs. Between my Outlook and Pudge's Dodge, were were spending over $500 a month on gas. To make matters worse, Pudge and I had seen the movie "An Inconvenient Truth" with Al Gore and we were blown away by the message. The message of the movie coupled with the growing cost of gas, prompted us to trade in at least one of our vehicles for one that is eco-friendly. Since I LOVE my Saturn Outlook and simply refuse to part with it, we decided to trade in our 2003 Dodge Intrepid for either a Toyota or a Honda as they were the top sellers for eco-friendly and fuel-efficient vehicles. Yes, we were doing our part now not to just Save America but Save the Planet. We discovered that a zillion other people had the same idea because in order to get a Toyota Prias, there was a wait of 8 months. So we went with our second choice, the Honda Civic. We wanted a four door Honda Civic but there was a wait of 3-4 months. Instead of waiting, we settled for the two door coup. We bought one of the last five left. Now we were happy. Both Pudge and I agreed that our Saturn and our Honda totally ROCK!

Then one day, all that changed! Four weeks ago, during one of our hottest time of the year, (it was 93 degrees Fahrenheit outside with 80% humidity), Pudge, me and the Pudge Boys decided that we were going to go see the new Batman movie. The boys were really excited about the movie, and since they loved movie theater popcorn, they made sure they had plenty of room for popcorn, candy, and soda pop. The Pudge Family was happier than a bee in honey! But....Murphy said it best "If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. "

Two miles away from the theater, my precious Saturn Outlook, my baby, just simply stopped, died...totally dead. One minute we were going 30 miles per hour, the next minute, we were stopped. The car decided to stop in the middle of a busy intersection at a slight incline (slope). So the next thing we know, the car started to roll backwards. Pudge quickly slammed on the breaks, put on the hazzard lights, and tried to restart the car.....but NOTHING happened. So he put the car in "park", and we pressed our little OnStar button for roadside assistance. OnStar was awesome (get it if you can) and did a quick diagnostics of our vehicle via satellite. Within minutes the OnStar Tech was able to diagnose it as a "computer malfunction". A tow truck was called and the Tech even got us an appointment with the nearest Saturn dealership Service Department. Because we were in the middle of heavy traffic during rush hour, Pudge attempted to restart the car in hopes that we could move it. Lo and behold it started! Delighted, Pudge drove the car about a block before it died again. Coasting to the end of the block, we were able to get out of heavy traffic and into a shaded area. By now the blistering heat of the sun was starting take it's toll. Pudge called OnStar again to update our position, but because of traffic, our tow truck took 2 hours to reach us. By now we know there was no hope of seeing Batman that night. We piled into the tow truck and drove 20 miles to the Saturn dealership. When we got there, I was hoping to get a "loaner" and take the boys home while they worked on our Saturn. The Service Tech said that all loaners were out and the car rental places are closed so we should just wait. He will probably fix our vehicle shortly. One hour later, the boys were getting tired and whiny and I was no angel either. The Service Tech told us that they needed more time to diagnose the problem and miraculously had a loander for us to drive home. Hmmmmm.....I was not impressed but didn't want to argue. I just wanted to go home. The following days I got the same answer....we can't fix your car. We don't know what's wrong. It's a brand new vehicle (less than a year old and have 9,000 miles - give or take a few miles). How can this happen? Over the next two weeks I was given one excuse after another. The car isn't fixed, they can't give me a new one....blah blah blah. Basically, I was screwed. Three weeks after the fateful day, Pudge and I came to the realization that it's time to move on. After much arguing and being strung along by Saturn, we traded my baby Saturn Outlook for a 2007 Honda CR-V. This whole mess is going to cost me US$10,000.00. Broke, dejected, angry, are just a few adjectives that can be used to describe how Pudge and I feel. SATURN SUX!!